Power
by The Evil Queen of Nowhere
Summary: The woman Teqon has lost her family in the middle of a crowded street in New York city. Death is coming but in what form shall it take? Only the first chapter is as scary as it seems to be. R&R please.
1. The dead are walking again

Death approaches. I feel him following me. The only hope in which I still possess. He stalks me still. He remains skimming in and out of my view as a shadow under the ever changing sun. He is there. He has been there. Not for one night in the last three years have I not seen him. Even in the Grand city of New York can I not escape him. That is what I attempted when coming here.  
  
Death approaches silently. Why has he not done his job yet? I am not dead. But I am no longer alive. I died with my family today. In this very street. Slaughtered. I am dead. Surely I am. Maybe that is why I have been followed by the wraith who has been pursuing me relentlessly. Why is he still coming for me? Will he drag me into the bottom of hell now? I deserve to die. I have no reason to live any longer. Do not torment me any more! Give me peace! I want to die! My family is gone! There he is now. I can see him there. So very close yet still absolutely untouchable. Does no one else see this devil? This being planning to tear me away from all I ever had. I will wait no longer. I am going insane. Tearing my hair out. I can stand this no longer! Take me now! Stop fooling with my head, damn it. I need to stop this pain! I will not let you follow me any longer. Ready or not here I come.  
  
I begin to stride towards the man in the interminably long black trench coat. I bet you are smirking while you watch me, aren't you? I would not know for I can not see your face. You are like a beacon of evil a dark deadly flare of night in the afternoon sun. I can always feel your presence. Now I will be yours. You can have me. I wish to live no longer! I am almost there but I do not shudder at the prospect of my fate. Anything will be better than this. The dark faced man looked up suddenly his eyes giving off a preternaturally reddish gleam. I can not even see your eyes, stranger. I can see nothing of your face even in the sunlight. Your mass of black tousled hair looms over your face like a monk's cowl. You are the stoic figure of death present to award me with eternal sleep. I am a few feet from you now. Give me what I want.  
  
I stop suddenly as you stir from your solid statue like position. You take three long strides and quickly devour the distance between us. My eyes are filling with the inevitable tears of fear of the unknown. The fear has me in it's grasp now but it is not enough to over whelm my anguish and change my heart. I steadily gaze up into your eyes which I can still see engulfed in the deep pits of sallow skin.  
  
I give up. "I am ready for you, now. Take me and end my life. I want it no further. Kill me and end it! I beg you. Do your deed and vanquish my grief. Now stranger!"  
  
Your forehead furrows up in confusion and then as if emotion was forbidden your face becomes foreign again as if never again to show emotion. You study my face impassively searching for something that I would never be able to grasp. I fall to my knees. "I need to die. End my life I beg you. Life has nothing left to offer me." What hard eyes you have. Like stone. You certainly are the devil himself, aren't you? Who else could be so terribly frigid? I bow my head forward. My ragged hair framing my haggard face shrouding my emotions by covering my face. I shield it with my hands rocking back and forth. This tormented soul of mine is beginning to reconsider my choices all too late. No paths are open to me now. Why do I doubt this now? Do I really want to die? I could have survived. I could have regrouped. But I sought death. Now it is drawing to a close. I sob in anguish for truly I do not want to lose my fireflies and lemonade. This is my last sunset. Oblivion is my last option.  
  
You reach down and pull me up. I sob on your shoulder. So ironic it is to cry in fear at the shoulder of a death that had been so desperately sought. So very ironic, isn't it?  
  
Where are we going? I dare not ask. I truly fear you. There is no saving me now. I walk to my final destination. Your arm is around me as if we were lovers. I would follow you anywhere. I will be content. 


	2. The man I love

This is so different from my other pieces isn't it? The biggest difference is that I know where I am going with this one. That makes me quite happy. I have gotten better at writting alot in the last month or so when I really started doing it.  
  
  
  
I find no need to snuggle in the sumptuous black silken bed that is now mine. I have all the time in the world. I can do anything. If I wanted to sleep all day I could. If I wanted... Well if I wanted anything I could have it. I mean anything. But what does a person who could have anything in the world want? What do I want? This I do not know any more than I know the mind of my master lying besides me. Stoic as ever. You speak little. Then again you don't have to. I know what you want of me. It is not what any other person might want. You are so different. I love you dearly. Even though I sleep besides you we are not lovers when considering the flesh. It isn't needed. Our love is a mental love. It fills me with such a supernal delight. Like nothing in my life ever did you make me content.  
  
We are so close yet so distant. You are a reticent man. I sit close to you and just hold your hand or lean on your shoulder and I am filled with content. It is as if I am under a spell. I do not believe this, but I can not deny that life goes by as a fuzzy stupor. I need to be by you always for you are my other half. Ever since I died in the eyes of the rest of the world you are all that I have had.  
  
How could some one so desirable as you be so dark, master? It is such a soothing darkness. It frees the restraint of guilt and anguish and breaks the mental barrier that would lie betwixt any other two people. You are so special. It feels almost as if there is a telepathic link between us. My other half, indeed. You are still dark but it does not feel like evil. I hold no distaste for you. If I never saw your face again I feel I would die. Did you enchant me?  
  
I run my hand through your magnificent thick hair which is the same shade of a raven's feather. Where am I? How did I happen here? What makes you need me so? You need me for the human compassion that you were lacking. Of this I am certain. Why were you so alone? Why are we so alone? There is no one else around. There is me. There is you. There is no one else. It is as if I had died and left Earth. Is this heaven? I don't think that I deserve to be in heaven. If this is hell then I would rather be no place else. You are all I need. How beautiful you are, my dark angel.  
  
I slip out of the bed and groggily enter the spacious kitchen to prepare a meal. I never would need to cook since you could conjure all our meals but it delights me to surprise you. I am learning to love toying around in this chef's fantasy kitchen. I could make anything in here. I wonder what I should make. No need to rush anything. Eternity is waiting. That is what you have given me, is it not?  
  
I settle for making ommletes and freshly sliced fruit among a few other things. I made the condiments from scratch because I could. I set up the plates in a very delicate artsy fashion by meticulously placing each peice of fruit in a fan shape encompassing the ommlete which had its toppings piled in it's center. 


	3. The Enchanting Dark angel

The entire apartment consisted of three very opulent rooms. The spacious kitchen being one, a beautiful bathroom with all the furnishings being the another, and the third room is the largest of them all with many different parts to it thrown together in a very practical lay out consisting of everything you would ever want. We don't need any dividing walls do we? I could sit in the plush couch by the fire and read a book in one part of the room while you might paint in the other. Almost all activities were centered in this room. We don't mind it. Neither of us distract the other we love just being near each other.  
  
You smiled at me across the long dining table in the room main room. I knew that you thought that the breakfast was very nice. You really don't seem to say a word. You are so very reticence but I don't mind. I watched as you stared at me for a while studying my features. I wonder what you think of at times. You're quite a mysterious figure, you know.  
  
"Will you please tell me a bit about my host?" I asked pretending to be very formal although in reality we were quite intimate. So weird to be intimate with a man you hardly know.  
  
"I have not really given you quite the information that you might inquire, have I? Please forgive me for that. You have never even been permitted the courtesy of my name." Your voice is so rich and deep. You sound like a rich gentleman with no trace of dishonesty at all. How I love you. Your voice makes my heart sing such a pleasure it truly is. "My name, dear, is Sauron. I happen to understand that yours was Rachel but you no longer seem to be the same woman anymore there for I feel that it is necessary to have a fresh start and a new name to go with it." You smile quite charismatically.  
  
  
  
"I understand completely and it makes perfect sense to me. I am no longer Rachel. I am a new person. Rachel is dead." I feel such pain at the mention of my past. Who would think that it was my recent past at that? "What would you suggest for a title?"  
  
"I think that Teqon is a magnificent name. My mother was called Teqon. She had such beautiful eyes like you do. So very intelligent. There is no competition for the likes of the two of you."  
  
"Where is your family?" I implored trying to sustain the conversation. What a lovely voice I can think of nothing else. "Wait a moment. You said your name is Sauron, why that is silly!" I giggled with infatuation.  
  
You appear troubled for a moment your jovial mask fading. "Why ever is my name silly?"  
  
"Sauron is quite a unusual name. The only time that I have ever encountered it was in the book called the 'Lord of the Rings' by JRR Tolkien. Sauron was THE lord of the rings. He was a necromancer in the second age of Middle Earth who tried to oppress the nations of people to gain dominion but never prevailed."  
  
You laughed a bit "O yes Tolkien was a wonderful man. I am in fact the Sauron that you speak of but who I am is not really the important thing. The important thing for you to remember now is that I am here with you now and that I will remain here with you. You fill me with such joy you could never imagine. Just being around you lights the room up. It has been so long since I have had a companion. The last time was Tolkien in fact and he was the first since the I the beginning of the third age when I gave up the Ring to Mount Doom."  
  
"But if you are one and the same then..." I started but was cut off by your gentle smile and ceased so you might have your word.  
  
"Do not fear me for I am not the same man that I was about seven thousand years ago. All humans are bound to change at some point in their life."  
  
I was allowed to continue now, " Who you are and what you have done would never change my opinion of you. You are my master, you are my love, you are my protector, and you are a good man. You have done nothing before me to prove any differently. The only way that any one could get me to change my mind about you is if you proved it to me yourself."  
  
You smiled graciously. The conversation had ended there. We stood up at the same time and pushed our chairs in. The dishes magically disapperated at your will. We walked over to the couch and sat down next to each other holding hands.  
  
The look on your face is quite serious as you turn towards me and say, "There is no way I can ever let you go, do you know that? I can not give up such a friendship as this. I need to have some one around or I will go insane. I think that there is no one else that I would rather have here."  
  
I laugh, "Good, because you might of had to kick me out if you didn't want me." Things are so simple. "Are you enchanting me? I don't take to people this well."  
  
"Enchanting? No! Who is being silly now? But I was serious when I said that I would never let you get away. I have a proposition for you. As you obviously notice I am quite powerful."  
  
"Yes, of course I do. I am not washing dishes." Laughs. "You have a ability to conjure things."  
  
"That is right. What I am asking of you now is to accept these abilities from me."  
  
I stare at you incredulously. This scares me.  
  
"As all mortals you will eventually die. I am offering you immortality this is something you can not turn down. What would it be to live forever? You can do anything. You can create anything you want. Look at this entire apartment. I created it straight from my head. Imagine the possibilities. I want to keep you forever. I shall not make the same mistake I made with Tolkien."  
  
I am still uncertain, "How can some one decide if they wish to live forever? That truly can not be as wonderful as it seems."  
  
"You are quite correct there. The problem I have faced throughout the ages is loneliness. I have become so desperate but the first time that I read your thoughts I wanted to know you. Watching you was the only thing that kept me sane. But this will be solved because you will have me. We can keep each other happy. We can live like this forever. One day you will even be ready to face the real world again and I will help you survive what you did not survive the first time through life."  
  
I felt my defenses melt away. I love you so much. You have to be right. What a truly wonderful being you are. What must it be like to be omnipotent like that? "Of course I will join you." I lean against you once again. You are so satisfying to me. I want you to love me forever. 


	4. Seeking oblivion

Here is chapter four for you. Make sure to tell me how you think the story is progressing please.  
  
I own nothing. Thank you for any reviews that I get. This is fairly new and I do not expect to have many yet. I will always hold reviews in my heart though. Yes I am a massive suck up but that is what Tiggers do best.  
  
Here comes chapter four for you all.  
  
I have to thank Aahz again for her proofreading abilities. You can now somewhat understand what I write now. Isn't that great? If you like Sap about Sirius Black read her story Sirius' Moon. It is rather good if you don't mind Mary-Sues. The main character is a Mary-Sue. A good Mary-Sue though yet a Mary-Sue non the less. Lisa, please do not ADD errors to my story as a form of vengeance. I know that I may deserve it but I am the speaker of truth. Allow me to remain such and love me all the same. (FIX AND ADD WHAT YOU WANT IT IS YOUR ADVERTISEMENT)  
  
This is Lisa, AKA Aahz. Rachel, Teqon, is delusional. I would never shamelessly put myself into one of my own stories! Never! I really never meant too. If it seems like it, it was a boo-boo.. I'm taking away Lestat and Marius Rachel! And you, you shall be naked forever. *EVIL laughter* How exactly does one become a vengeance demon?  
  
More advertising, I just put the sequel up people, so if you do a search on my SN, you can check them (All my stories) all out. *cries due to the fact that her story could be interpreted as a Mary-Sue though the author swears she never meant it that way*  
  
Also, those of you who are thinking I am hogging this story, read the reviews in mine! Wow! Rachel can advertise without advertising I'll tell yah!  
  
*Quirks a brow*  
  
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Why do I so willingly accept what you say to me? Is there a problem with my head. I am never this enamored nor trusting of people I do not know. Can I really put my faith in you as I do now? Just don't hurt me. I am as glass. I can feel it. If you were to lie to me or be anything less than the picturesque angel I envision you as my mind will shatter. What did you do to me? Emotions that tend to be so visible to other people weaken me. I am not the strong person I once was. The proud arrogant woman I was seems to be hiding in the recesses of my brain being the mists which shroud and dampen the flames of emotion. All that I feel is love for you as you lie in this bed resting your energy to endow me with the immortality I am not certain that I want. My mind has always wanted such power but my heart is yelling 'no' in the distance. I can't even understand why I would not want what you are giving me.  
  
I could stare at you for hours. That face of yours is a indelible image forever etched in my head. The love I feel is true. Even if I was under a enchantment I would still love you. You are a kind man, dangerous, but kind and never lacking in charisma. You always know what to say when you decide to speak and it is the correct thing. Not one word doesn't matter. The real reason that I love you which is clearer than any physical attributes you have is the fact that you are here with me. I was so desperate for companionship I would have killed myself in that street if you did not take me here. How crazy I am. I need your guidance. I need you to teach me. Teach me anything at all. What I want most of all from you though is for you to teach me to be strong again. Help me to regain my lost dignity. My spirit is diminished. Give me something to believe in.  
  
You began to stir from your slumber. I know that you can sense things. Did you feel that I was watching you sleep, that is still a strange idea to me. Your eyes are startlingly blue-gray as are my own. I have not seen the reddish gleam in them since when you saved me from myself. For this I am most thankful. Right when your eyes open you look right at me. Yes, you did sense that I thought of you then. Most times your emotions are entirely unreadable but today as yesterday is not another one of those days. Your smile is so confident and warm. You hop out of bed and stride gracefully around it then take me by my hands. I grin to see such uncharacteristic fervent anticipation. Then all of a sudden without any warning your eyelids shun the sparkling gems that were your eyes. You collapse in front of me still grasping my hands in a iron grip. I can not remove them but that matters not. The first thing to come to my mind, my grin removed I fall to my knees and inspect you to see what caused this and what state you are in. I am gripped with fear at the prospect of losing my master.  
  
I can accomplish nothing. You are beyond my help. The only thing that can be done is to await you when you return to consciousness. Nothing on Earth can kill you, this you have told me numerous times. I will just have to wait until you awake. I slump forward on your motionless form as I also lose consciousness and join you in quiet sleep.  
  
***  
  
Although it may have been noiseless in the chamber of the apartment in no way was the vision such. It was full of turmoil and sweat. Lose emotions running through the air. Darkness encompassed my sweaty form as I lay on the harsh ground of my unknown expansive environment. Where are we? You are here with me. holding my head in your lap whispering soothing words to me. You are trying to calm me. I can not calm. I will not calm. Swirling around us is a massive explosion of color as if we were in purgatory awaiting our fate. What will happen next? This color is so like the oblivion that enters my mind when I try to picture it. The colors are tremulous and in no way placid. They swirl in fury trying to pull me away from you with it. I feel as if it will swallow us whole and spit us into hell. I belong there. I am in no way a good person. I have done so much harm to other people. In the life before I lost my identity my heart was filled with greed and envy. Oh I loved the world I admired it so. I saw so much joy but I could never really touch it. I wanted to give the world my all but it would not let me. Where could I go where people did not hate? The world has evil in all corners. There were wars and tyrants financial sharks, killers and a whole gamut of terrible fates that I could not conceive. I did not want to be them. Oh no not at all.  
  
The colors receded and we were left in the darkness once again. I sat up and found that our hands were still locked together as if by key. Like we have been we still remain locked by spirit and by fate. I put my head against your chest and you tell me that it will end soon. This cannot end by itself. There is nothing to end! It is pitch black oblivion to its fullest extent.  
  
"Let us leave this now. It can not change. It will always remain as nothing here. Let us get out of here. We do not belong here. No human belongs in this place." I said with certainty.  
  
"I am not human you know and soon neither will you, my love." Your eyes took on the ominous red glow for the second time before me. How chilling. To the very core of me.  
  
This time though your eyes do not scare me. The glowing has the same symbol as the first time. You shall bring Death to me. It truly does not scare me. I stand up with you and kiss you for the first time. It is with out passion but contains the deepest respect. I accept my fate that you have given me. I will do this now and know that death shall soon follow. 


	5. Redundant

I have so many places I want to go with this story! Thus you have a lot to worry about. If you wish to continue beware. You will be in for many shocking revelations. Oh I am not saying that you should not read it but if you cannot stand anything unless it is strictly mediocre you are in for trouble. Hey wait, you wouldn't be here if you were actually like that, would you? Thank you for reading this. Should I continue with my redundant story, yet? If you say no then too bad I cannot put this piece down. How terrible of me, I know. Don't forget that I will save the world someday and you will be very happy with me.  
*  
The colors were finished dissipating and with them you disappear. I am very seriously alone in the nothingness that is choking me. I holler and scream pound my fists on the hard stone floor until that also disappeared out from under me. I am falling as if through an interminable tunnel that consisted of my field of vision, which is limited because of my insanity, blurring my eyes with tears. There in my limited sight I saw emotions nothing distinct in shape or color but they were emotions. It is entirely indefinable but I was sure that it was emotions. Enmity, anger, hate, fear, will, defiance, arrogance, darkness, murderous hate, sadness, and awful foreboding is what I saw. What I felt. Such pain. So terrible. Where is my dark angel? Shall I suffer this forever?! Save me! Give me guidance. I need your soothing words once again. You will never know what it meant to me. Will I die here? Without you? Save me!  
  
A ring of fire surrounds me. Moments of a past life flash by me. A life not mine at all. In no way is it mine. It is far too painful for me. My life was never this bad. How could someone possibly survive this? It makes me cry. How sad how angry he is. I want to help this person. It is Sauron's life. I can feel it. I leave this now. My eyes close and the vision ends. So damned dizzy.  
  
Now I am warm. I did not know that dreams might make a person feel cold. But it was so frigid. I felt like I was going to die. Gee, I have felt that quite a lot lately. But you are so warm. How lovingly you wash me. Why is there blood though? I have had no reason to bleed. I was dreaming, damn it this is freaking me out! I feel as if I have been beaten over and over again. Why? I look at my naked body. I look at the lacerations that have stripped my body of its natural beauty. I look horrid. You rinse out the cloth soaked with blood.  
  
"Could I please have a explanation o' silent lover one?" I asked with a deep unnatural voice that startled me.  
  
You look up very quickly astonishment in your tear shining eyes. "Lover, you love me still after this?"  
  
I sigh deeply with frustration, " I sense that there is much to explain"  
  
Such a beautiful smile it is that you get on the shadowy face of your. You are truly moved by something that I cannot comprehend. "Yes. I suppose that there is much that requires discussion, isn't there?"  
  
I nod emphatically.  
  
"Let us first clean you up. Now that you are conscious you can use the bath. I will speak to you after." 


	6. Fire flies and Lemonade

Chapter Six now. What can I say besides that I do not own Sauron? He may be fine but he is not mine and I can never keep him. He would drive me nuts. This is such a weird story but I love writing it all the same. Ha. Lisa thinks that I am egotistical to be writing about myself. Well I am. I am just a great enough person to be interesting. I don't really have a good character development like I have in not boring. Sauron is pretty well developed but I am not. Now that certain things have happened I can give you a better description. I think I should do it this chapter.  
  
What do you think so far? Could I have a good critique, PLEASE! I need help with getting this down pat. Do you think that my style is good? Do you like my characters? Am I overly redundant? Do I need to fix something? What should I watch for when I write further? Does my story have a good plot? Help me become a better writer please. I am sorry to badger you all so much. Here, I will stop chatting and write now.  
  
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The bath is exquisite. As I said before the room has all the furnishings a person could ever want. It is not really a regular bath. It is more like a small inground pool with steps leading in from the side next to the French double doors that lead in from the other room. The entire room had a scarlet and gold color scheme. Those are my absolute favorite colors. Nothing fits me better. The room was so opulent that I was afraid that it wasn't real the first time that I saw it. Oh well now I know that it is real. I have spent hours in here on certain days just sampling and sifting through the gamut of soaps and lotions and such that practically litter the shelves and cupboards. You might think that the apartment was a furniture store. There was even a couple couches and useless exrta stands in the bathroom among everything else. I could never get bored here.  
  
As I slip into the filling tub you come back through the French doors that you had exited a few minutes ago. What a wonder. Look at that! "What ever were you thinking? Oh god I am just speechless."  
  
"You are speechless for once? I thought that you might have wanted this, beast. He had no where else to go and I thought that you might have missed it. It seems to that he has quite a sense of humor enough." You looked a bit amused by something the dog had done but I could tell that you felt you had said enough.  
  
I hopped out of the massive tube, soaking the floor, and called for the tall golden-red colored Rhodesian Ridgeback. If I had not gone out of the tub he would have jumped in after me because he is a dedicated dog who can only stand to be away from me for little more than a day. "Hunter, you pain in the butt! How good it is to see you after... so long." How painful my voice must have sounded. Bringing the dog here was done to remind me of the past. How very clever you are. I unconsciously slid back into the tub to evade the conversation at hand. That would not be enough to stop you from speaking your mind. When you decided to speak it was for a reason. You strip unceremoniously and slide in the pool after me. This still does not phase me in the slightest bit. Your intentions are not sexual. This I can sense. I guess it is quite a different situation when there is only one person in your life. That person becomes so much closer than you could have ever bargained for. The relationship is so much closer than what can ever be expressed physically. If your intentions were physical on the other hand it would be so much easier. You have no idea. What a handsome creature you are in all your dark glory.  
  
You take the cloth which you had been using earlier and begin to gently drench my back in the warm water readying to remove the extra blood in which you could not reach earlier since I had my head in your lap. "This was much worse than I had ever expected it to be. You had difficulty accepting my powers. I did not bleed like this when I had the powers bequeathed onto me. But I can say, from experience, you will be weak for many months at least. From the signs so far it may be even worse. Much worse but we can not tell this yet. You will heal eventually. It will just require time and patience."  
  
I turn my head and look back at you incredulously, "That entire thing was the exchanging of powers? You did not forewarn me. I would have liked to have been prepared you realize. I did not know anything of what was occurring. I was frightened to death. You disappeared and left me."  
  
"I disappeared as was the final part of the process of the transformation. You do not seem to think that I would have warned you if it was within my capability. I could not have. It would have turned the entire thing into a disaster. You would have been destroyed. I am truly sorry though, but I had no choice in the matter." You firmly but gently put my head forward so that you could rinse and scour my neck.  
  
"I do not doubt you. I have no reason to."  
  
You lean forward and whispered intimately into my ear as if a remorseful sigh, "Sadly yes you do, my dear. Remember that I had been surprised when you said that you loved me still? I had good reason to. A very good reason to. You are so very clever. No one else would have ever guessed that I was enchanting them like you did when I had enchanted you."  
  
I step forward and turn around to face you. I stumble a bit because my knees are weak with exhaustion from the lack of stamina you predicted. You grasp me by the shoulders and steady me against your warm delightful chest. "I enchanted you. Yes, but I did so with good cause. You thought that I was death, the wraith-like demon who gathers souls. You thought I would kill you. You feared me so much that if I had not changed your mind about me you would have hurt yourself or had always lived with a fear of me. I could not have lived with either of these possible outcomes. It would have broken my heart. Since you gained power I cannot create illusions for you any more. This is why it surprised me so that you cared for me. You understand do you not?"  
  
"Why does it seem that I always understand you? Even now as my brain is not boggled I feel the same. Yes, I do understand but there is a greater problem at hand. I cannot stand well, and I mean this literally." I am practically hopeless now leaning heavily against your chest. "Will you please remove me from the water. I hate this. I can not stand such weakness. It is not me. No don't carry me! Just let me lean on you and get out of this wretched thing. What a oxymoron to call anything here wretched. Everything is just so beautiful. This tub is like something in which I had always dreamed about when I was younger. I always wanted one ever since-" You put a finger to my lips and smiled, "Quit babbling or we will never get out of this."  
  
My eyes widened, "But I don't babble! It is not really all that fair that you-"  
  
This time you quickly put your hand over my mouth to drown out my incessant babbling. Then you picked me up with the other hand over your shoulder and stride through the apartment and place me on the bed. "Enough of that. I have a lot of patience but if you do not cooperate I will never get what I want to say out to you." You sound so very irritated at me.  
  
"Fine then. Of course, but let me point something out that might help you understand the circumstances better." I say.  
  
"What would that be?" You look more amused than irritated now which I take as a very good sign indeed. You sit down next to me to listen, content.  
  
"What you seemed to miss in all this is why I do not hate you for your lying to me when the enchantment was over. I feel that in my heart most of that love I felt was quite real."  
  
You just stared.  
  
I continue with, "There is such a bond here. We are all that each other have. I did not have any hopes left. You saved me from myself as I am sure that you realize. I admire you for this. You gave me back the human compassion that I had so desperately been seeking. Where you were thinking that you had filled my head with all these notions of love out of your own loneliness it had actually been of MY loneliness and MY free will. Where you had saved me from myself I had saved you from yourself. You needed the companionship as much as I. So much so that you thought that everything was of your doing. What ever happens now I need you crazy old man. Now that that is clarified I want you to explain the visions to me."  
  
You have such a genuine grin on your mysterious and dark face that I start to laugh. You stop me. "Wait! Wait just a moment and I will tell you everything." You lean down and kiss me. This time the kiss is not of respect but of love and truth. With such clarity I will always remember that.  
  
"Why did you ever want me? I am not really a beautiful woman. I am not tall or super skinny or very pretty. I am arrogant and with too big of a voice. I tell the truth too often and I am too sarcastic. I am too big a dreamer and too much a poet. I am sad too often and too jovial too much. I am in no way mediocre and am always with my nose stuck in a damned book."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"What do you mean by that? Why out of millions of people do you choose to follow me? I am not all that interesting." I say with frustration in my voice.  
  
"That is what you think, dear. You have such eyes that can see past what everyone else thinks. You are a dreamer and a poet. You are arrogant and loud. You are sad and you're happy. For these reasons you caught my eye. Fireflies and lemonade are so much more than what they seem. I am thrilled to meet some one who seems to find the same view about life as I do. The small things make it all worth while. Do not get yourself worked up about everything or you will expend the little energy you have left before I get to tell you about what you so desperately wanted to know."  
  
I overjoyed by this, " I have learned all I need to know at the moment." I smiled a loud smile. So many words were in that smile than I could have tried to express in a thousand words. "I fear you are too late to stop me from wasting my energy. Let us sleep now. We can continue this conversation in the morning."  
  
You sigh and then being obliged to the word of this unusual woman who for some unknown reason makes you happy you say, "Sleep well."  
  
You turn away and walked into the kitchen worried about something or another. I could not wonder what it was for by that time my eyes were closed and I could concentrate no longer.  
  
*  
  
**  
  
*  
  
How do you like this? Is it good? It is becoming sappy but I rather enjoy it. Poor me. Poor me. Poor me. I break my own rules. 


	7. When persistence just won't pay off Whin...

Here I am again at chapter seven. I am worried now. Is my main character a Mary-sue? I would gladly take the complement because she is me. I am trying to get my personality as precise as possible. Of course my parents are not dead and I am not THAT insane but I want to make this enjoyable for everyone. Isn't it fun to read about lunatics? Yes Lisa I know! I do it for me but there are other things to it too. My ego won't let me be anything but the best. So deal with me.  
  
So I am more than just a companion to you? This is all so very complicated isn't it? You need me around. This you tell me often. What upset you so much last night? You were so very worried as I fell asleep. It looked as if you thought that I would never wake up again. How can I trust you so much? Look at me! I'm in a bed somewhere in the world or off it. I don't even know our location. I am in your hands, entirely. What else could I do? Where else would I want to be?  
  
I basically fell out of the bed when I tried to get out of it. I am grace almighty, seriously! What will ever become of me? Where are you now? I did a funny looking half-walk half-crawl maneuver trying to enter the kitchen to find you. I fell down and ended up just crawling and swearing at my messed up legs. My arms hurt as well so it is a rather wobbly crawl at that. My arms and legs are shaky, and blood was beginning to come out of my knees from scratching them on the stone floors that looked so very elegant. Pah! I wish there was carpeting because this hurts! There is carpeting now. Is this the gift you gave me? I didn't think that I would be able to conjure things so quickly. I continue my journey across the apartment and by the time I reach the kitchen threshold I am exhausted. My arms collapse and I sigh a very disgruntle sigh. I inch forward on my stomach. I am almost there! Just a little bit farther, that's all. I wonder, did you fall asleep in the kitchen? I finally make it through the doorway on my belly.  
  
"My, my, my. Aren't we persistent?"  
  
I cock my neck backwards to face you. What a terribly evil grin you have on your face right now. "I was just wondering if you were okay! I haven't seen you since last night! What were you doing?"  
  
"You were worried about my well-being while you are like that." You emphatically gesture at me.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha. Very funny" I try to get up. "No don't help me! I can do it myself." I fall back down within a matter of minutes, exasperated.  
  
"Goodbye then. I am going to go make myself some breakfast." You step over me, and your bathrobe sweeping over my cheek.  
  
I clear my throat loudly. Suggestively.  
  
Your grin widens with all your teeth shining "Oops did I forget about something?"  
  
"No, no, no. NOT at all!" I say through gritted teeth.  
  
"Oh, if you insist. Of course you are right." You resume getting things out of the fridge.  
  
"You have way to much time on your hands! Will you please quit playing with my head! I am not very patient." I scowl.  
  
"I on the other hand have all the time in the world to torture you."  
  
"You are so relentless." I watch hungrily as you taste your oatmeal.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Will you please help me?" I whisper very very quietly.  
  
"What did you say? I could not hear you."  
  
"Quit teasing me! You can read minds you don't need to hear me." I whine.  
  
You stride over and gather me up and go to put me back in the bed until I stopped you. "No. No, Don't put me in the bed. Put me in a kitchen chair so that I can talk to you."  
  
"Will you ever make up your ruddy mind?" You put me in the chair.  
  
"Thank you." I tried to make my hair smooth down because it was quite static-y from the carpets. "Where is the love?" I asked sarcastically.  
  
"Here have some oatmeal." You handed me a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries in it.  
  
"That is better!"  
  
"Actually to tell you the truth I can no longer read your mind. I have no control over you. You are to be my equal soon enough, remember? Well I should get to explaining shouldn't I?"  
  
"Finish what you are doing first. I could not stand this chair for long, anyway. I can't even sit up well as weird as it sounds. It is just plain painful. Just chat with me until you are finished cooking. All I really need right now is to socialize. I need it very, very badly."  
  
"That was the very point in which I had intended on speaking with you about." You magicked the food to cook itself and helped me into the bed.  
  
"What do you mean?" I am getting used to your doting now.  
  
You sat down besides me. Its conversation time. "I can no longer keep you satisfied by myself. You need to return to life as a mortal. If not then you shall go insane. This I have learned firsthand. You need to be part of the world. To live in it. To watch it and help it develop. You and I shall go out into the city and just view it for awhile. You need to see what is going on. With out such actions in your life time will drip by and your spirit will break of depression, boredom, both, or more."  
  
"But, I am not going through the same thing you did. I have you here with me. I am not truly alone." I remarked trying to evade my reemergence into the public, quite pointlessly. There is no argueing with you.  
  
"It does not make a difference." You said firmly. "As soon as you are well again you shall visit the real world. For now you will read newspapers and magazines. How much do you really think that you could accomplish with only the things in this apartment? Do you truly think that you could be occupied a year much less one thousand? I need it and you need it." 


	8. How Opinions Change

I attempt to stifle my crying as you come in the door. How very terrible is was. Was? Is! You look on the floor and spot the object of my distress. There on the floor lies a dying monstrous looking creature. Its heavy breaths were finally beginning to diminish. "The poor... wretched thing... I don't even remember why... I decided to try and... Conjure it." I am nearly hyperventilating now. "Look at it! It is so horrid and malformed. I did it. It is torture to watch it... die... like this. I can't help it! I made it this way only so that it would die??? There is nothing I can do. It is all a terrible wretched mess and and there is nothing I can do. I caused it all!"  
  
"Sit down and listen to me." You set down the newspaper that you regularly get me then you took me by the shoulders and directed me to the couch. "You are not the first to make a mistake such as this BUT you should be the first to learn from it. Never do this again. Settle down now. I will take care of it. You must remember what has happened now. This creature is by no means natural. Even if you had properly summoned it, it would not be so. It would be a miserable beast with no soul. Always remember that." You hold my hand mechanically to sooth my anxiety then you make the creature disapperate and hand me my newspaper. "Read now and put your mind on other things."  
  
"That is not as easily accomplished as you may think it is." I grab the newspaper anyway. I can't think straight. I just skim through the pages not really looking at it. I found the comics because that was the most mind numbing thing to look at. I laughed a bit with a mind that was much more at ease.  
  
"You do not think that have brought you a newspaper everyday just so you could read the comics do you?" You say this without even looking up from your book.  
  
"Don't be sour. I always read your paper." I turn to the next page. "Just what I wanted to read about." I commented sarcastically as I look through the obituaries." Murdered, murdered, suicide, cancer, murdered..."  
  
"Will you stop that?"  
  
"Yes daddy dearest." I turn to the next page.  
  
"Sometimes I wish that you were still enchanted. At least then your personality was mellowed down a bit."  
  
"Oh come on! I have the perfect personality for you, remember? That is why you spent three years stalking me. I am your poet and your dreamer? Lemonade and fireflies?"  
  
"I love you so much because you aren't perfect." You shake your head at me amused. "Go on and read."  
  
I persist, "I am not sure if I should take that as a complement or not." You point at the paper and go back to your book. I smile and do as you ask in your taciturn manner. I finally find something that I like, "The museum is opening a new exhibit in its art section dedicated to Surrealism. That is what I want to go see. Come on let us go be patrons of the arts! That is something worth doing with eternity isn't it?"  
  
"You better get a job then." You say without looking up. Still.  
  
"You sound like my mother". The subject of my family has become easier on me after time. You look up to say something. I quickly say, "NO!"  
  
You look back at your book smiling. Then you change the subject. "Did you look on the front page?"  
  
"Not really." I turn to the front page and gasp as I read through it. At the end of the article I grab your arm to get your attention but you are already staring at me with your penetrating dark gray eyes gauging my reaction to the article. "Why do things have to go this way?" I point at the page dedicated to the war that is brewing. Not a small war but the way things were looking there were prospects for a world war. "This could destroy everything. I have never understood how people could be so ignorant. Never."  
  
"And I never understood how you could be so arrogant sometimes. Does that mean that I think that I could change it? You can not change people. You can not change society. I've tried."  
  
I look at him. "Well what can be said to that? I am part of this world as much as anyone else is. Perhaps more since I will be around longer. What if they destroy everything?"  
  
"I will get a condo out on the moon for you."  
  
I scowled.  
  
"I am being perfectly serious about this all. Not the moon thing of course but everything else. This world is not a bad place. In perspective only a small percent of things the human race has ever accomplished was negative. Then again none ever seem to remember the good. When I first came to power I saw evil everywhere. The people of the world were always fighting and bickering. The races were divided and people would slaughter each other just because they were not the same. They all evolved from the same origin and differences were relatively few. It was a sad time."  
  
'In my eyes the nations needed unity. A centralization and that is what I attempted to give them. I wanted to create a empire over all of Middle Earth. If they would not unite themselves I believed that it was my duty to do it for them. In order to do this I did the only thing I could think of. I would attempt to take the world over by force. I created massive armies of Orcs. Orcs as I am sure you have read in the tales by Tolkien were wretched creatures. I had envisioned elves when I tried to summon them. They were so malformed. Nearly as malformed as your creature except that I had much more practice. They were created for one purpose and one purpose only. They were made to kill and conquer. They knew nothing of love and had no souls. If I had not been stopped by the combined efforts of the Men of middle Earth I would have foolishly decimated and destroyed the world. So much for my aspirations of unity. Trying to bring peace of war by war inevitably failed. You must remember that."  
  
'In Mordor before I had done all this there lived the entwives. They were happy creatures that grew plentiful feilds of any sort of produce you can think of and many that you cannot. It was all destroyed. Remember this Teqon, be prudent of the powers I have given you for you hold the fate of the world if you are not wise."  
  
You are finished now. I have listened but I can't stand it, "This is too much. I hate this! You know that I am not such a balanced person. What if I went crazy like I have before? This is to much. The world would be much safer if I were not here at all. How can you live with this?"  
  
"You are worried too much. Just remember what I have told you. If you care for anything at all you will not make my mistakes. Just remember all of the good things that people accomplish. Look on the last page! Good things are so much more important than the bad ones. They have found a cure for the disease that has been going through the poorer sections of town and it is dying down now."  
  
I look on the last page, "Why is this on the last page? It is important, too."  
  
"People are too worried about the bad things that are happening like the war. Now I ask you to forget about the bad things and come dance with me." What a smile you have. Your face may never be very jovial looking but your words do all the communicating necessary. Along with that smile it is enough to change anyone's mind.  
  
"Of course." I stand up with you and walk to the middle of the room. Music clicks on from near the kitchen door and we dance just to dance.  
  
"Seeing that you are well enough to dance tomorrow we should venture out and see that art display, shouldn't we?"  
  
"I was beginning to think that I would be cooped up in here forever."  
  
You smile again, "My, my, my... how opinions change." 


	9. Aphrodite

Today is the day that I reenter the outside world. It is scary to me. I do not even understand why this is so. I think that I am afraid of what shall happen to me. I am crazy as I have told you before. I am not ready for everything. I have not developed my grasp on this entire power thing yet. What is a girl to do? I feel insecure. I am not that sort of person. I just do not become insecure about anything. Insequrity is not in my nature. Okay, enough of this. I cannot let any one know that I am afraid. I don't need you to feel bad for me. Not at all.  
  
"When are we leaving?" I ask with a very cool exterior.  
"You are afraid, aren't you?" you ask with sympathy.  
Gee great. So much for that! "Afraid? Me? No! I have no reason to be afraid. When are we leaving?" I ask again brusquely.  
"You are afraid." You walk up behind me and wrap your arms around my chest affectionately. That is quite uncharacteristic of you. It surprises me greatly. "You have no need to fear. I will be with you always. Nothing will happen to you. You are too powerful to anyone to so much as lay a finger on you if you don't want them to."  
"My power works that way?"  
"Of course."  
"Like this?" I say in my mind that I don't want your arms around me. Nothing happened. "Why didn't it work?"  
"What were you doing?" You asked sounding surprised.  
"I said in my mind that I didn't want your arms around me anymore. If what you said is true then you should have been forced to let go, right?" I asked.  
"It doesn't work quite that way. First of all you need to form a command. Second, do you really not feel comfortable around me after all this time?" You let go of me.  
I back away. "I feel less comfortable around you every day."  
"What have I done wrong?" You come towards me with a hurt look in your eyes. So handsome. It isn't fair.  
"What have you done wrong? Nothing! Absolutely nothing about you is WRONG. In fact you do almost everything right. You just drive me insane sometimes. Absolutely insane. You are perfect. I would be so much happier if you wore a very large paper bag. I have no envy for a paper bag." I backed up a bit more.  
"You know..." You raise your eyebrow. "If you back up much further you will run into the wall."  
I laugh nervously and back up more. "You don't me understand do you?"  
You walk forward a bit more. "I understand perfectly but you do realize that communication is essential between us. When something is bugging you do not hold it back from me. How can we spend eternity together if you don't ever tell me what is on your mind?" You step forward reassuringly.  
"I am not good at this at all. I am no good at this. I have no fear of you you realize.It is just that I am afraid of what happens when I kiss you. I feel death when ever I do." I step back and bump into the wall. "Well I guess you were right weren't you?" I laugh very nervously. "I can't deal with this, really I can't. You mean so much to me. Am I acting silly or what? My friend Michele would call me crazy. She would be all o- Well I don't even want to think about it... I cannot understand why I feel like I should not have you. It isn't natural. You-"  
"If I ever do anything good in my life it will be to teach you not to babble." You smle again. "Do not fear it. Nothing can harm you but yourself." You step forward and kiss me. Your lips taste like death. So sweet but so sour all the same.  
"I will die." I push away from you.  
"You cannot die. You are immortal."  
"Then why is it that I feel like you are about to suck my soul out through your lips every time you kiss me? I am so confused. It scares me. It is as if each kiss tells the future. I feel like I will die as I have told you. I want you so badly and I cannot seem to let myself have you. My brain will not allow it." I sink down against the wall so confused and angry at myself and angry at you for being so very desirable. So what if I taste death? It seems that death has been my fate since I met you! There is no saving me. No matter what I do. This is not what determines my fate.  
You go and sit on the couch and look very handsome in the process of doing so. "Do as you wish. I desire only for you to tell me what is on your unreadable mind and to be honest with me. It is all that I require from you. You cannot even do this much for me?" You ask rather angrily.  
"Life isn't as simple when you are not in control of it, is it?" I stride over to you resolute, finally. "Well I KNOW the feeling. It isn't easy. Ever since I have came here you have made all my decisions for me and now it is time for me to finally make one of my own. THAT isn't easy either! I don't know what I am doing or where I am going I only know what I feel right now. Maybe I will die but I do not know this and at least I decided my place on it."  
You stare up at me incredulously smiling at my spunk. "This is why I love you." You stand up but before you continue to speak I gently press my finger to your lips.  
"Still I feel the need to ask why is it that you want me? I am not extraordinarily beautiful, I am not skinny, I am obnoxious, and I am irritating beyond belief."  
You remove my finger from your lips. "Yes, you ARE quite irritating. Will you never understand me? I am not shallow as you may assume."  
I sit down on the couch. "You are in no way shallow. I could not stand you if you were. I am just rather..."  
You suggested, "Self-conscientious?"  
"Of course." I continued, " I can not allow myself to fear this any longer. I cannot let silly superstitions get in between us. Do not be angry with me now. Sit down with me. Make me happy."  
You do as asked and I kiss you just to spite my fears. Your lips taste like death still but I ignore it. It is rather nice if you think on it long enough. So placid. Your lips linger for a few moments and then they slide down my neck. The taste of death lingers after your kiss. A vibrant tingling sensation works its way down my spine and I forget about the death that will come. I can not possibly keep my thoughts on that when you are here like this. Next to me holding me gently. You make me feel as if I would rather be no place else. You are so unusual. Your dark shadowing aura consumes me in to it delightfully.  
The music we had danced to yesterday began to play in the background. Its wordless tune grinding its way subliminally into my head and vanquishing all my worries. I feel as if I will be safe forever. You will always be here to protect me from the loneliness of forever. You will always be here to protect me from myself. I kiss you again with such pleasure and delight from your presence. I do not worry anymore. There is nothing to worry about. I have been silly to fear death. I have been mad just to worry at all.  
************ I do not like writing that sort of stuff****** (So ha) Use your imagination!  
When I awake I find myself to be entwined in your long sensual limbs. How nice it feels. I watch you sleep for a while trying to figure you out. As you said before I do not understand you. Not at all. All I know is that you make me feel like a goddess. Even Aphrodite although that surely is not me at all. I am not like that. Not at all. I understand another thing now. Your entire aura is a false one. Around you I can sense darkness but I see now that it is only a shadow. It is a shadow of all the bad things that you have done to the world. It is a mirror of your guilt that you have never let yourself forget. I doubt that you ever will. Your conscience is absolutely overwhelmed, isn't it? At heart you are anything BUT the darkness that seems to loom over the exquisitely beautiful features of your face. Anyone who has seen your smile could not deny that this is true. It is such a warm smile full of genuine love, care, and vigilance towards the feelings of others. Save me from that smile or my heart will lose all perspective.  
You are wiggling your toes as if you are enjoying music. How loveable. I was quite serious about that paper bag, you know. My life would be all so much easier. Then again it wouldn't be half as much fun as it is now. The dog, Hunter, jumps up on the bed. The toe tapping halts as you look up and say, "Get off this bed!" with a very menacing tone of voice.  
"Fine then." I say with mock frusration. "If that is how you feel about me." I hop out of the bed, but the dog snuggles in my place and right under the covers. I grin at your position.  
"Where are you going, now?" You ask me.  
"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz."  
"Serious now." You say with a rather fake no-nonsense look plastered on your face.  
"Hunter will keep you warm. I plan to get dressed and go see that art exhibit you promised me. I expect dinner too."  
"Dinner, huh" You get out of the bed determined to follow me but change your mind half way and attempt to remove the dog from the bed. "Get out from under there!"  
"He just wants some loving too. I think that he is rather fond of you." I say.  
You give up and go into the bathroom after me. "What are you planning on wearing, your highness?"  
"Ha ha. I knew you would see it my way! I am working on the clothing right now. I can not really seem to get this conjuring to work out right." I say standing in front of the mirror conjuring different dresses.  
You look pleased. "You are very advanced for just four months of practice. What tastes you have. You look like an artwork!"  
"Thank you and you look like a piece of art, also. The only difference between the two of us is that you don't require clothing to do that." I grin.  
You just shake your head at me. Why is it that I can never seem to get you to blush? Your eyes open a bit. "No... wait! I have got it." You conjure a magnificent looking dress of gray velvet with blue trimmings and a delicate silver tiara and necklace. "You look like a goddess." You sound very pleased.  
I blush although you are some what correct. Getting you embarrassed with take quite some work at this rate! 


	10. The First Sunset

Chapter ten now. Why do I go and state the chapter number before I start writing? It isn't as if it was not already obvious, right? I love writing this story so much. I wish people took the chance to review it. Especially my wonderful supportive friends I have. Right Michele? Don't worry. I am still pretending to smile. I need good feedback on this. I thank my Aahz like friend for giving me such. I need to know what I am doing though. This is not just a quick fun writing for me. I am experimenting with my abilities. Do I complain a lot? Oops I am sorry. Is my writing even comprehensible? Some times I feel like I am speaking German. No one cares. Oh well. I will ramble just for the sake of rambling. I will NOT quiet down either. It is not in my nature to do so.  
The sun is setting over a very splendid day as it has done everyday and it always will. A sunset is not an unusual thing. But today I feel as if this was my very first sunset. The world is in a whole different light. I have experienced so many regular things today but those regular things seem to be glorified when I experience them with you. I have seen many note worthy human triumphs today. They are thes things you usually don't even note.  
  
First we saw the art exhibit. Surrealism was and always will be my favorite art style. It is like my dreams. So vivid but hard to decipher at times. In the coming time I will learn how to do it. I will do it well. I need goals do I not? That is what you have been trying to tell me by bringing me out into the public. A person needs aspirations other wise living is dreary and redundant. Love is an aspiration to some. The desire to create and nurture a family is one of the greatest joys that a loving person could ever do in their lifetime. It is a shame that some people do not even consider it. They could rush through life gaining money but never to be truly happy. How I miss my own family. I could not even think of what might become of the man who slaughtered them if he was ever to come face to face with me again. I should not think of this. I cannot allow myself to become hateful. It is senseless. I am too powerful to become hateful as you have told me numerous times. I could ruin everything... as you nearly did so seven thousand years ago.  
I try to focus on better things. I can not be angry forever. I watch you as you watch the ocean in the dimming light. You are back to your taciturn ways again. You are silent just absorbing everything and pondering things that I doubt I could grasp in a millennium. You have a lot on your mind, as usual. I see so clearly now what depends on me. You truly need me. I will do great things if only to please you. I hope that you realize that. Great or foolish things. It matters not I would do anything just to make you happy.  
I hate to bother your thoughts but I am in need of conversing with you now. Your voice is pleasing to me. "I want to thank you for all this. I might never had seen things as well as I do now if it were not for you."  
"Hmm." You are still deep in thought and reluctant to speak with me. I can only see your hair loose in the wind flowing back from the sea. You do not turn to look at me but say, "I am not as good a force in your life as you may think. What makes you believe that I have not done you evil?"  
"Evil? What evil is there to possibly conceive?" I put my hand on your shoulder and you shudder under my touch. "What is wrong? You seem to be upset over something. You have done wonders for my vision and my comprehension on what is truly important. I cannot be greedy when I am near you. There is no way you could ever consider your influence over me a negative one."  
  
You sigh in exasperation. "Hardly. You are in no way greedy. I am the greedy one. Whatever happens it is my fault. I had intervened in your life. I wanted you so. You are changed for ever. Your mental state is hardly a stable one."  
I look at you with disbelief. "And in no way can you assume blame for that! It was not your fault that my family was killed. That is what has been shaking my mind. It has nothing to do with you."  
You sound angry but not at me, "Did I not help it along? I showed you things that scare you still. I have given you such a power that could destroy everything for my own greedy purposes. I wanted you so I put every thing in jeopardy at the will of a shaken heart."  
  
I stick my finger on my chest as you look at me remorsefully, "This shaken heart of mine is  
  
only frail so that it may grow stronger. My will is returning. Do you not see it more so everyday? I feel renewed. The tragedy of my former existence was shattered, yes this I admit but the bonds of our love that pulled it back together have only made it stronger than it ever was before. I have something to believe in now. I will not shatter again."  
"And what do you believe in? Tell me for I find nothing reassuring about anything that has transpired over the last year. I sucked your enchanted and befuddled mind into something that you did not grasp the entire concept of. You knew not what I was offering. You could not have possibly weighed anything under that enchantment to the level it needed to be weighed at. I put so much on your shoulders and I cannot help but feel that it will be to the distress of us both. I am sorry that I ever did this to you. I put so much in your hands you just do not feel it's effects yet. Nothing can redeem me."  
"Perhaps this is so but I will not blame you. Whether you will admit to it or not you are human it does not matter that you are immortal. You can make mistakes. We all do it. Can you never forgive yourself? I see you suffer so much under the weight of your conscience. It is troubling to watch. Forget what you have done. You have changed. You are here with me now and have done nothing to make me believe that you are a evil man. Live a clean slate. If you do anything do that for yourself."  
"You don't seem to grasp the extent of what I am saying." You say.  
"No I understand it all but I fear that you have not listened to a single word that I have said. Let us speak no more on this matter tonight. Look the sun has gone. Lets go home. To be truthful I want more of what we had this morning."  
You smile for the first time since we had begin watching the sunset. "Yes, let us argue no more tonight. We had such a nice day. You have no idea how long it has been since I went out with a companion. Shall we?" You hold out your hand for me. I accept it and we begin walking home.  
  
The blue of the sky is beginning to deepen to the inky color that I always found fascinating between the sunset and nighttime. Twilight, the deepness of the sky is a thing I shall never forget as we return home. In a alleyway that we are about to pass I hear a sound I distinctly recognize as a muffled scream. I have heard it before, I will never let it leave my mind when I lay to sleep at night. I drop your hand and rush to it in consternation before you could think to stop me. I will not allow this to happen again! No one will be forced to die like that around me! As I streak into the alley to stop what I fear is happening. Sure enough I spot a man with a knife to woman's throat. How cruel. This man will not live this down. Not if I have anything to do with it.  
"And does this have to do with money. Or do you just kill to get your kicks. You perverse bastard. Leave her alone! If you want a real challenge try me on for size. Look I have no weapon. Leave the woman alone!" I holler at the man with a knife.  
He looks up at me startled and then that is replaced quickly with a look of sneering anticipation on his grimy visage. "Oh a willing one ay? I will run you through a couple times and then we can see how brave you really are."  
"Let her go first and then you can TRY and take me. You think that you scare me. Knife or no you could not hurt me for all that you tried. Come on just attempt it." My voice is full of the venom that I have stored for the man who killed my family. This is not safe. I should not do this. I will not kill this man. It proves nothing.  
"What makes you so sure of yourself you ugly bitch? I will let her go but you will not run. Come here now."  
I straighten my features to hide the anger in my thoughts and stride right up to him and spit in his face. "Do it now."  
The thief wipes the spit off his face smearing it with mud in the process. In anger he slits the woman's throat and grabs me by mine. "You damned wretch!" He hollers in fury. "I will make you wish that you died much faster. I am going to cut your tongue out and then force feed it to you. Then I will-" He began convulsing on the ground coughing up his organs. He died almost instantly.  
I sink down on my knees and hold my head in my hand sobbing at my lack of self control. You walk over to me not even bothering to sidestep the mess I made. You lean down and wrap your arms around me speaking to me softly although I cannot possibly be comforted.  
"You were absolutely right. I am unstable. I have no self-control. Did you see me." I sputtered out at you.  
"Do not worry about it. You wanted to save that woman's life. He deserved it. He would have killed again." You continue to try and hush my crying.  
I stand up furiously to face you. That is exactly the reaction that you did not want. "Why is it to be my decision who gets to live or who gets to die? Who has that right? You surely do not nor do I. You cannot say this. I did not mean to kill him. I really did not want to kill him. I could not help it." I lean against you to attempt to comfort myself.  
"Come on then. Let us go home. I will do what I can to relax you. You need to pay heed to your own words, Teqon. Forgive yourself and live a clean slate. Do not let your conscience overwhelm you." 


	11. Sirens

This is my chapter eleven of Power. Have you enjoyed this? I hope so. I shall now continue in my fantastical tale about the life of Teqon my alter personality.  
  
I have finally decided what Sauron looks like. If you have seen Laurence, he is the carpenter for Changing Rooms on BBC, Sauron has Laurence's hair. That is some godly hair, too. Also he has similar facial features to Laurence. He is a bit taller. Extremely tall in fact. Don't ask me why but I just think that tall people are extremely sexy. I wish I was tall. I am 5 foot 7. I want Sauron also to look a bit like the Russian bad guy in the movie Triple X. He should have this 'I am bad' aura to show his guilt he feels and he should have the very pale skin and darkness in his strong features and such. I think that that is what I am envisioning Sauron to look like in this fic. His eyes are this dark gray-blue color like mine are in real life. Don't ask me why I choose to do that. I guess that it is because my eyes can really look very cool, intense, at times. They are the most beautiful thing on my entire person and I felt like sharing. Does that work for you?  
  
I wonder when people are going to get around to smacking me for creating a romance about the evil lord of Middle Earth. Every one seems to like to write about the Elves, the Hobbits, and the big handsome burly men of M.E. Oh well. Can you really expect me to conform? I so much would rather to amuse myself with something slightly different. I am afraid to advance in my plot now. This will be the hardest time for writing in the process of this entire story. I must figure out some reasoning behind what is going to happen in the future. You know what I speak of Lisa. NO, no! Do not cry! The end will fix it all! Oops I am sorry I can not tell you all what is going to happen. I guess that you need to find that out for yourself, won't you? Let me just remind you of this. Death Approaches. Scary isn't it?  
  
The sky was black as we returned home. It was not a true blackness because the sky was unnaturally illuminated by the lights of the city. I am still angered at myself for my actions and lack of self-control. I cannot understand what possessed me at the moment in which I had killed that man. How can you say that he deserved the fate that I gave to him? Surely we both deserve the same fate. I killed tonight. Does the fact that the man was a murderer make my case a clean one? I questioned you on this over and over again to the point in which you were filled with such distaste that if you had not been a better man you might have very well smacked me.  
  
You turned to me after a long period of silence to attempt to sate my anxiety, "You may just be right. If it was entirely wrong of you to kill that man then so be it but please do not torment yourself over it any longer. Just remember it and vow never to repeat it. You will accomplish nothing by continually putting blaming yourself. Move on there isn't a thing to gain by dwelling on it."  
  
"This seems like such wisdom to me but my heart will never let me forget what I have done. So many bad things are happening. With the war and all."  
  
"Do not forget the good things which are happening also. There is always a balance but it seems that in a state of fear you will seem to forget the good." You gesture towards me. "Come here." It was more of a command than it was anything else.  
  
I do so and you wrap your arms around me. I begin to forget my worries as you embrace me with such tender filling love that I cannot think of anything else at the moment. I put my head against your chest and begin to cry. I hope that I will never lose you. Do not tire of me, please. Continue to protect me from myself. It is still a shock to me that such a dark figure as yourself can can be so gentle and caring and genuinely loving. There is no malice in you, no contempt, and no greed as you may think you have. There is only a new-found purity that I will allow myself to never forsake. Never. How can I allow myself to have become so terribly hateful towards my own self? How could I have lasted long, mentally, if I did not so much as even forgive myself. I tell you to forgive yourself so often but can't recognize my own humanity. I should allow myself to make mistakes. Do I? No. I am as bad as you are.  
  
I will resign from my conscience for the moment. I smile at you, "I will free myself from my own chains. I am so tired. I want to sleep. Come on lets go to bed now. Tomorrow with a clearer head I will try to talk this over with you again."  
  
You laugh at me, "Funny, all it takes is a hug, isn't it?"  
  
"They really do wonders. Especially when they are from you." I drag you off to bed. There was nothing to happen. Nothing exciting anyway. I just want to be held. I have always been like that. You are so comforting as I have said a million times before. I go to sleep now.  
  
In the middle of the night sirens begin to erupt from all corners of the city. They blare through the streets. Awakening everyone. Even us in our other worldly surreal home that we had. I try to jump out of the bed to see what has happened but you will not let me go. You hold me down as you tremble with some unknown fear. I can sense that it was only indirectly related to the chaos happening outside. Your fear was more over focused on me. Why? I turn over in your enveloping arms to question you. "What is the matter. Why won't you let me up. Let me up! Now! I have to see what is going on! What if they need my help! I have to get up!" I almost get out of your grasp. I am struggling like a frantic animal with a uncanny premonition. Something is very wrong.  
You spring up and pounce on me like a beast to hold my squirming uncooperative form down. "Where is the calmness that I always valued in you? Quit struggling and listen!"  
  
"They need me. I can sense it! People are dying I need to save them! I cannot allow this to happen! I can't!" I continue to try and get up to no avail. "People are dying! do you hear me? Can you not hear their screaming voices in your damn omnipotent head? Have you any common decency or are you just a selfish pig bet on saving your own hide?" I begin to beat on your chest. So useless. I began crying.  
  
"Listen to me now. You are to do nothing. You will attempt to do nothing! This is not your problem!"  
  
"This is EVERYONE's problem! Is it not you who said that in order to retain sanity you needed to remain part of the outside world? What does a person like us do if the outside world is not there. Those people are my family, my friends, the people I grew up with, the people who taught me every thing I know. They are the people who created things to enhance the world, they protected it and cherished it. What about the poets and the dreamers? Will you leave them out there to die? I don't even know what is happening to them! I need to help them. What is the use of this power if we do not use it?"  
  
"If you cared anything for your poets and your dreamers you will do nothing. Do you remember anything that I have told you? Ever? You can do ten fold the damage that they could ever possibly conceive of administering on their wretched foolish selves! Do not forget Murphy's law. You jelly donut WILL land jelly side down. Don't forget that. What could you do to save these people? Will you kill others?"  
  
I looked vehemently at you. "Absolutely not I would-"  
  
You glared at me with such a fervor in your almost crazed eyes, "What will you do? Will you do as I had done to you? Will you enchant their minds until they are all mindless zombies dizzily creeping their way through a miserable pointless life like a colony of bees. To Live and to die. To live and to die? Is that what you want? Tell me clever lover of mine. I now see that the poet and the dreamer is blind to all but the beautiful, is she not? What will you do? Tell me! What could you possibly do to help this situation improve." You are infuriated with me desperately trying to get me to see your way.  
  
I calm down a bit. Your temper shocks me but much more than your temper the truth of your words shock me into almost absolute silence. For a couple minutes all that can be heard is our heavy breathing that is the signal that our violently conflicting emotions are beginning to subside. Your face is still red with the anger in which you had just recently vented out on me. It was necessary. There are so many important things I miss with my impetuous nature. I run my hand across your cheek just to do it. I have never seen you look so upset. Not just angry but terrified. Your cheek is hot and it looks as if your entire face was burning up. My hand slips down your chest you must have gotten very worked up about all this because your chest is the same way. Naughty thoughts appear in my mind, as I ask myself about the rest of you, but at the moment I brush those thoughts away. "I understand my Love, but may I at least know what is happening. Is there no way that we can save anyone?"  
  
You sigh in frustration at my persistence. "There may be a way to do so if we are not to late. This apartment is blocked off so we do not feel the effects in which the rest of the city must contend with."  
  
"Which is?" I ask quickly. I then regret this when I receive your cross look.  
  
"Your are at least as strong as I am. If not that then more so. Use your internal vision. Your telepathic abilities. You must have them. Do you not? I feel that you are already much stronger than I ever was. If you chose to grip your abilities to their entire extent and command them, the effects might be devastating. Yes, command yourself to see through the thoughts and eyes of another. If there still remains another soul in this city to share itself with you."  
  
I am frightened at the prospects of this situation. You let me sit up and I embrace you. "Thank you." I wipe the tears from my red swollen eyes.  
"You are welcome and I and most gratified that you decided to listen to me." You say to me.  
  
Like I had a choice I think bitterly. "I feel that that may not have been helped." I smile gingerly and lean up against you. Your arms easily find their way around my midsection as they have so often recently and I slip for my first time into some one else's thoughts. "Oh dear god." I whisper in consternation.  
  
Heeheeheee. Sorry to Freak you out Lisa. It was not this chapter. Worry about the next two though. That should be your real problem. Now if I am correct about this I presume that the rest of this story will be finished in a matter of five chapters at the most. So this should be a 15-16 chapter story at the most. I love this. Oh the wheels are turning in my noggin. What a delightful feeling that is. 


End file.
